Glamorous

I moved to London when I was 10. 

The company my Dad worked for at the time had him opening up a new office in their London branch. So we moved and lived there for 3 years.

Whenever people ask me about myself, or where I'm from, I have a hard time deciding if I should share this experience with them. Because of my Dad's job, we lived all over the place. I've lived in New York, London, Chicago, and now Utah. I'm not really from anywhere. 

And this isn't a story about how that wandering childhood fills me with sadness for a longing for home---I don't mind having lived all over the place---it just makes the question a little harder to answer. I usually just say I grew up in a lot of places, but then people want to know where. Which brings up my problem: to tell or not to tell?

On the one hand, London was a big part of my life. I had the opportunity to travel, I went to an International School, I still talk to some of the people I grew up with. It was an experience that helped shape me as a person, and gave me a wider view of the world. It's an integral part of who I am now.

On the other hand, I feel like I sound snobbish. Or like I'm bragging.

"Oh look at me, my life is so cool, I've lived outside of the country."

I know that's not really what it is, that just how I feel it looks. 

We have become a world of oversharing. What did you eat for breakfast? Well, let me just check your snapchat story real quick. Where did you go for your last vacation? A quick search on instagram will tell me. And with all of this oversharing comes the illusion of glamour.

I say illusion because that's exactly what it is. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and even real life doesn't tell you the whole story. I can't entirely pin this on social media, because when you think about it, this happens just as easily when you have a conversation with somebody.

Perhaps you have a friend you haven't talked to in a while. You reach out to them and ask them what they're doing in their life right now, and as it turns out they're starting an internship in Sweden in 2 weeks, or maybe just got home from a study abroad in Japan for 4 months. 

Yeah, that's pretty cool, I'm not gonna lie to you. It sounds awesome. But we have this tendency to look at those experiences and say, "Wow their life is awesome, my life sucks. They're so cool, I'm not."

But it's an illusion.

What you don't see behind all of that is the stress, hard work, toil, blood, and sweat that goes into making those experiences happen. Or buying that new car. Or that new house. It's a lot more stressful than it seems.

Let me give you my real life example. And this is top secret news, so if you've made it this far in the post, congratulations! You're going to be one of the first people to find out about this. I haven't even told my roommates yet....

My Dad sold his company. 

He came in on the ground floor of the company, almost 10 years ago. They were just bought by a huge global company, based in Luxembourg.

And now my family is moving to Luxembourg.

"Wow that's so awesome!" "So cool!" "Wow that'll be amazing!"

Is what you may be thinking.

And yeah, it's cool. It's pretty awesome. I'm proud of him, he's worked hard to make the company successful and it got noticed. 

The danger with news like this is that it goes to your head. The first thing you think is, "Wow, Christmas in Luxembourg!" or, "Now I can finally backpack through Europe like I've always wanted to." And yep, I'm probably going to do both of those things. 

BUT. And this is a big BUT. You have to think about reality for a second. On the surface, it looks glamorous. But dig a little deeper.

In this new job, my Dad will have to travel all over the world. He'll spend a week in America, a week in Luxembourg, and week in London, and a week in Asia. And then start over again.

Which leaves my Mom and little sister at home, alone. Without him. In a foreign country. 

That means buying groceries in French, setting up your electricity and gas in French, driving around with the signs all in French, going to church all in French. 

The time zone change will be difficult. I won't be able to just pick up the phone and call my Mom whenever I'm walking home from class, because she'll be sleeping.

I won't be able to talk to my Dad for maybe weeks on end, because he'll be working/traveling.

I can't go home over the summer, or surprise them with a visit as easily as I can now. 

This will mean a lot of sacrifice for my whole family. 

Not so glamorous as you were led to believe, is it?

As my family struggles with these decisions, I've been thinking a lot about what to tell people. Do you tell people your family moved to Luxembourg? What will they think? Will they be infected with the glamour of it all? Or will they see the bigger picture?

Unfortunately I think people will see the glamour before they see the reality. My life will suddenly become so much more "exciting" and "interesting". Which is not the point. Since when was that a worthy goal to have? To make your life seem as cool as possible? And somehow make other people feel little in comparison? This is the problem with glamour. It's not as glamorous as you might think, and I don't want my life to be an illusion.